Forgiveness is immediate, Reconciliation takes time

I love studying God's Word and listening to what others are learning. (Hebrews 10:25) It proves over and over how active and living and applicable the Bible is today for every occasion.  (Acts 4:12)  Most recently, I listened to a lesson on Acts 9:23-31.  The discussion was about Barnabas.  In the journey of repentance and reconciliation it is important to have at least one Barnabas in your life.  Forgiveness is a given.  It is mandated by God.  However, reconciliation is not required.  Reconciliation it dependent on repentance and a process.  Repentance takes time, it means changing behavior and thought patterns.  That takes time and practice.  When serious offences have happened and trust is deeply broken, it takes time for healing to occur and for there to be enough evidence to prove a heart change has occurred.  A Barnabas can be helpful.  God demonstrates through Barnabas how important the role of (a) Barnabas is in the lives of believers.  God understands wounded hearts and mistrust.  So with some scholarly insight and history lessons, we learn 3 years have passed since Jesus revealed himself to Saul on the road to Damascus.  Saul now finds himself back in Jerusalem where he first persecuted the Christians without mercy.  They didn't trust him.  (verse 26-they were afraid of Saul)  So Barnabas spoke on his behalf.  Barnabas was able to "testify" on Saul's behalf.  Which led to these three key points on how to be a Barnabas:
1. Willing to listen to a person's story.  2.  Willing to check out their story (verify facts).  3.  Willing to trust God.
Being a Barnabas isn't easy.  It means giving time.  Time to listen.  Time to research.  Time to observe and see the changes in a life as a result of repentance.  It, also, means being willing to step up and speak on behalf of a person when it might be unpopular.  Done well, though, so much could possibly happen for building up the kingdom of God.  I can't help but remember the scripture that encourages being quick to listen and slow to speak.  In His time God reveals.
Just a huge encouragement to me these past weeks.  As I walk through a difficult season, and I know the things God whispers to my heart.  I know the Scriptures He leads me to.  He took all the pieces and wrapped the up and confirmed I was hearing Him teach my heart, through this person's words.
Forgiveness is required and needs to be immediate.  Reconciliation is a process and takes time.

Something new we are trying

I have a kiddo that desperately wants to earn money.  I struggle to think on the spot.  I struggle with consistency and memory issues.  For instance, how much was the job worth last time???

I, also, want balance.  There are different beliefs regarding kids and chores and allowances and do we pay them for chores?  Well, I haven't had a clear solution or hint of what to do in 18 years of parenting, that is till this weekend.  

The challenge?  Coming up with a solution that addresses the personality and heart issues and needs of multiple children in the home.  For instance, I have one or more that would be all over getting up in the morning and working for money.  Meanwhile, regular chores and school work wouldn't get done.  

So I finally had a "duh!" Light bulb moment. I posted rules for earning money.  I posted jobs available to be worked for money, and kept the amounts low and affordable for me.  I made sure there were jobs that would need to be done frequently.  I, also, put in a stipulation...An act of kindness stipulation.  For every job done to earn money, an "act of kindness" needed to be completed.  I want them to experience the balance of just doing because it is right and good.  What never fails to amaze me is the "blindness" to things on the floor or odd little tasks that need doing and NOONE. notices. them.  The glazed over zombie looks when I point them out just causes me to shake my head.  In the last few weeks, I have heard, "but you didn't asked me" or "you didn't tell me to" more times than I care to count.  Even once is one time too many considering the age of the culprits.  So I am hoping my plan will encourage initiative and thoughtfulness and a change in attitude.  I, also, left a post-it notepad nearby to jot down job ideas to stick to the posters.  The kids were quick to notice jobs not mentioned, cleaning the car and vacuuming the upstairs.  Post it notes have been added.  I, also, created a note for the Christmas nativity.  It needs to be put away with love and care, so it is stuck to the acts of kindness chart.  What isn't pictured are the cards with their names on them and their "assigned" chores, individual to them.  They each have a couple of jobs to do on a regular basis throughout the week.  I haven't decided how frequently I will swap those out, but for now, I am hoping this works.

A little funny tidbit to add.  My college student walked in while I was hard at work creating my posters.  She got super excited!  Couldn't wait to join in on this new endeavor.  Apparently I got a little distracted and my cent signs were switched to dollar signs... Cleaning the entryways was suddenly worth $75 each and the pantry was worth $50.  She was ready to get busy!   Eye rolling commenced and I quickly burst her bubble.  She made my point!  And I quickly fixed my mistakes.  Amounts may need to be tweaked, but I would rather increase rates and create cheering than decrease and experience mutiny.   

Before I could post this, we also encountered another heart issue.  There was an offense.  A big hurt.  It wasn't the kind of hurt that could be resolved by buying a replacement thing...no tangible restitution could be made.  Apologies were made.  Forgiveness given.  But how does one demonstrate regret and love??? I am not all about earning forgiveness and grace, but there are times when a personal effort can go a long way.  Since creating the assigned chores and the charts, an INSpired Idea hit me.  An "act of kindness" which I called an act of "redemption"/"repentance" could be done.  I suggested to the offender that since I had to take the sibling away from the house an act of kindness could be done by completing a chore that would become a hardship later in the day... leaving the house always means less time to do school and chores, especially when there is a desire for "free" time. Translation...less free time.  My kids don't think "free time" spent at doctors' and other appointments is all that much fun!  Go figure?? :)  Before I left I heard the "offender" declaring "I HAVE to do..."  I quickly responded with "No, you don't have to, you get to choose. This is something you get to choose to do to show love and repentance and kindness.  No one says you have to, it is your choice.  I think it is the right thing to do, but it was only a suggestion.  So only do it, because you choose to do it."  Out the door I went.  My heart soared much later, when I discovered the job done and nothing more was said.