Think... Another new thing in our house AND it is working in UnexpectedWays!!

I have heard this acronym over the years.  But several months ago, it was revisited in our house. 

Before that even happened, last summer became the summer of "stop and think." 

Kids were doing crazy, reckless things and oopsie daisies were happening and I thought I was going to go bald from pulling my hair out before I ever turned gray!

A kiddo, a dear sweet lady and I visited about this months ago...it was like aha light bulbs went off.  Life was good.  Then fast forward and some of my kids hit new stages in personalities, quirks and behaviors.  The kind that can blind side a mother and she has NO. IDEA. HOW. TO. RESPOND.  It is wrong, but how to explain it?  How to teach something different?  Some concepts are big and vague and hard to explain to kids.  Hard for adults to discuss, there is just a knowing. 

So visiting with this dear sweet lady and she remembers "THINK" from our months ago conversation.  HUGE LIGHT BULB moment.  LIFE. HAS. NOT. BEEN. THE. SAME. in a very good way. 

All the kids have been taught it.  When there is an annoyance, we just say "Think."  Sometimes, it is pretty easy to figure out, but other times it takes some thinking. 

Is it True? is pretty clear cut. 

Is it Helpful?  or sometimes Is it Honest?  There is a difference between True and Honest sometimes.

Is it Inspired? but that can be difficult for a kid to grasp the concept of so we added Is it Important? 

One of our issues is correcting a slip of the tongue..is it really important to address every little slip?  Does it derail the flow of things?  Which leads into...

Is it Necessary?  Maybe it is True, maybe at times it could be Helpful, and Important but is it Necessary?  In our case, sometimes it is a distraction, slows progress down, just don't need to go there right now.

Is it Kind?  How is it making the other person feel?  All those other questions come into play as well...distracting? slowing things down?  preventing things from happening?  Frustrating someone else while doing all the above? In this case, how can we do/say this and be kind?

Loving it !!! 

Only a few eye rolls have happened so far. 

Something new we are trying

I have a kiddo that desperately wants to earn money.  I struggle to think on the spot.  I struggle with consistency and memory issues.  For instance, how much was the job worth last time???

I, also, want balance.  There are different beliefs regarding kids and chores and allowances and do we pay them for chores?  Well, I haven't had a clear solution or hint of what to do in 18 years of parenting, that is till this weekend.  

The challenge?  Coming up with a solution that addresses the personality and heart issues and needs of multiple children in the home.  For instance, I have one or more that would be all over getting up in the morning and working for money.  Meanwhile, regular chores and school work wouldn't get done.  

So I finally had a "duh!" Light bulb moment. I posted rules for earning money.  I posted jobs available to be worked for money, and kept the amounts low and affordable for me.  I made sure there were jobs that would need to be done frequently.  I, also, put in a stipulation...An act of kindness stipulation.  For every job done to earn money, an "act of kindness" needed to be completed.  I want them to experience the balance of just doing because it is right and good.  What never fails to amaze me is the "blindness" to things on the floor or odd little tasks that need doing and NOONE. notices. them.  The glazed over zombie looks when I point them out just causes me to shake my head.  In the last few weeks, I have heard, "but you didn't asked me" or "you didn't tell me to" more times than I care to count.  Even once is one time too many considering the age of the culprits.  So I am hoping my plan will encourage initiative and thoughtfulness and a change in attitude.  I, also, left a post-it notepad nearby to jot down job ideas to stick to the posters.  The kids were quick to notice jobs not mentioned, cleaning the car and vacuuming the upstairs.  Post it notes have been added.  I, also, created a note for the Christmas nativity.  It needs to be put away with love and care, so it is stuck to the acts of kindness chart.  What isn't pictured are the cards with their names on them and their "assigned" chores, individual to them.  They each have a couple of jobs to do on a regular basis throughout the week.  I haven't decided how frequently I will swap those out, but for now, I am hoping this works.

A little funny tidbit to add.  My college student walked in while I was hard at work creating my posters.  She got super excited!  Couldn't wait to join in on this new endeavor.  Apparently I got a little distracted and my cent signs were switched to dollar signs... Cleaning the entryways was suddenly worth $75 each and the pantry was worth $50.  She was ready to get busy!   Eye rolling commenced and I quickly burst her bubble.  She made my point!  And I quickly fixed my mistakes.  Amounts may need to be tweaked, but I would rather increase rates and create cheering than decrease and experience mutiny.   

Before I could post this, we also encountered another heart issue.  There was an offense.  A big hurt.  It wasn't the kind of hurt that could be resolved by buying a replacement thing...no tangible restitution could be made.  Apologies were made.  Forgiveness given.  But how does one demonstrate regret and love??? I am not all about earning forgiveness and grace, but there are times when a personal effort can go a long way.  Since creating the assigned chores and the charts, an INSpired Idea hit me.  An "act of kindness" which I called an act of "redemption"/"repentance" could be done.  I suggested to the offender that since I had to take the sibling away from the house an act of kindness could be done by completing a chore that would become a hardship later in the day... leaving the house always means less time to do school and chores, especially when there is a desire for "free" time. Translation...less free time.  My kids don't think "free time" spent at doctors' and other appointments is all that much fun!  Go figure?? :)  Before I left I heard the "offender" declaring "I HAVE to do..."  I quickly responded with "No, you don't have to, you get to choose. This is something you get to choose to do to show love and repentance and kindness.  No one says you have to, it is your choice.  I think it is the right thing to do, but it was only a suggestion.  So only do it, because you choose to do it."  Out the door I went.  My heart soared much later, when I discovered the job done and nothing more was said. 

Body Art courtesy of Sibling Love

After a full day of running around, I sat down to do some memory work with THE MAN.  His shirt shifted and I was like, "What is that?"  Lifted his shirt to discover his latest body work.  Love how the belly button (aka tickle dot) is incorporated into this work of art.  It is then I discover he didn't do it!  He asked his sister to and she honored his request. 

Way to Go Aunt Tracy and Uncle Charlie!

See this smile.

You put it on Dad's Bud face!

 

 

Paint with Water by Melissa and Doug

 

This is the coolest thing ever.

Water Color pages with paint included on the page.

This isn't the dip your water in brush and paint with water and watch the color appear.

Each individual page has a water color strip to use. 

Trim off the top of the page.

Cup of water with the paint brush included.

Paint away.

So perfect here in the hospital.

No mixing the paint colors and ruining the box.  When done, toss the strip.

I can see myself getting more for:

 athletic trips to keep the youngers occuppied while they wait

gifts for younger cousins

and just to have at home,

cause I so don't like cleaning up the water color boxes!

 

 

 

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He took a Pounding!

Daddy O came home Friday morning with a Suprise!

He received his official pounding !

Defined~ The guys all got to punch him in the arm where his new stripe will be attached!

 

This past spring he was promoted and received his new job duties.

However, with all things government and military.

There is paper work.

Sometimes the paper work gets misplaced.
Sometimes the paperwork needs to be redone.

But, alas, it is done.

Daddy O learned the news the day before when he looked at his future pay stub online.

Friday morning before his shift was over the Boss Man asked if he would like to do this thing?

Daddy O chose to not call us.

Chose not to have the formal ceremony.
So much time had passed.

So he came home with his suprise. 
GOOD MORNING Peeps!

 

 

Suprises, a double take and a double dose in learning about Compassion

We spent the day in the car again. 
A Thursday kind of day.
A late start in the morning, Awana the night before and it takes everyone a while to wind down and share their stories of the night.
Piano lessons and back and forth from home, because not everyone has to go.
In the back and forths, running Fun Girl to work.
Back home for a quick lunch.
Then to Bal-A-Vis-X.
Then to the grocery store to get the latest ad.
My day stops here.
I am lost in my own world as I sit in the car and wait for Hockey Player to run in, grab the ad and come back to me, stopped at the curb.  He comes to the door and says, someone fell. 
I quickly recall the vague thud I heard and start looking around.
A deep intake of my breath.
A "grandpa" is down  in the parking lot and 2 ladies were helping him.
I quickly put my hazard lights on, put the burb in park and tell the kids to stay.
I see the ladies are talking to him and I run inside to tell Customer Service someone has fallen.  They quickly send the managers out.
He is a little disoriented. His face is banged up and he is bleeding quite a bit from his scrapes.
He misjudged the curb/ground and face planted.
My heart was in my throat.
He just wanted to get in his car and drive home to the next block over where he lives in Assisted/Independent Living facility.
But he is so disoriented. 
Rides are offered. A chair is offered. Paper towels.  Someone got ice.
I ask him the name of where he lives.
Blessedness that it is, I am very familiar with his residence. I have family there. I quickly call.  They send over their Director of Nursing and instruct us to call an ambulance. 
The managers do that. 
I see he is being well cared for and try to gracefully exit.
I stop at the care facility to give them a first hand account for when he returns later on...as disoriented as he is he might not be able to tell them much.  Plus to let them know he has 2 bags of refrigerated items. 
All the while grateful he is well cared for and being watched out for. 
As I return my car, I hear one of children ask why I had to get out of the car and  help?
My eye brows shot up.
Because it was the right thing to do I am thinking.
I try to say because he needed help. 
But this kiddo, is grumpy.  Wanted to be at home.  So did I.  Just didn't get it.  Which for this kiddo when this stage of self centeredness has started it is really hard to refocus. 
I ask my children if they knew the story of the Good Samaritan. 
I was shocked when my younger two said no.
NO???
I gasped and did a double take. 
My brain went into over drive. How could that be? 
We read Bible stories.  We talk Bible stuff.  We memorize verses. We go to church.  They watch Bible videos.  How? But....?
I stop the bumbling around in my brain.
I share the story as I drive. 
I ask who was a good neighbor?  why? 
Now they all have heard the story and know.
But now, it is quiet and I can think.
It is just like I share at times with friends and my oldest. Just like I had shared that morning with a friend.  God doesn't always take us down the same path as the person next to us.  He has different lessons for us at different times. We don't learn his ways over night.  Sometimes there are even some slips and falls along the way, just like when a baby learns to walk and become a toddler.  Yes, my oldest were schooled in the story of the Good Samaritan.  Now so were my youngers.  My youngers on the other hand have been learning lessons that my olders are learning just now. 
Different people, different paths, different learning curves and lessons plans created by the Master Educator.  Patience and understanding and compassion for one another, for we don't know where the Lord has taken them, is taking them or will be taking them. 

Their eyes were causing trouble!

My two youngest boys remind me tremendously of my childhood.

My older three are the kind of children that could allow a parent to become prideful.

They simply just never participated in the,

"He's touching me!!! 

She's looking at me!!!

They breathed on me!!!"

At least not until the younger two boys came along.

GOD knew the risk of me becoming prideful as a parent.

He knew it.

I have a tendency to get comfortable in my abilities.

He knows that.

So He allows circumstance to keep me on my knees. 

To keep me focused on HIM.

To NEED Him.

Because He loves me.

Because He knows without Him, my life is nothing.

One day, the sun is shining.

There is promise in the day.

A promise to accomplish much.

A promise of time together as a family.

A promise that I will need my Heavenly Father to survive,

as I step out of the bathroom, dressed and ready for the day

when I hear my two youngest striving against the other's existence.

**SIGH**

Lord, help me to get through today.

As I sit at the table, trying to encourage children to start school.

It begins, "He is looking at me!"

"Nuh huh ~ He is looking at me!"

**Sigh**

God reminds me of the poster board in my room, I recently pulled out.

The older children come running.  Hanging over my shoulders.

What are you doing?

Shhh!

Still sitting at the table, the two youngers are still looking at each other and annoying one another.

Supposedly, trying to do school but can't 'cause "HE" is looking at him.

** SIGH **

And I plop these poster board dividers down and tell them to do school.

They laughed.

I didn't, my sense of humor had left me.

I think I forgot to ask God, to sustain my humor for the day.

I wish I could say it solved all my problems. 

One of my "sweet" little gifts discovered the poster board shielded him from my view and he snuck away to play instead of doing school.

**SIGH**

But at least they weren't looking at each other.

 

New Years 2012!

This is what I was up to this past weekend. 
Cause I didn't take pictures, and my camera is with my daughter this weekend.  As well as her computer with copies of all the pictures on my camera....   I will just be a teeny bit lazy and share the link to my sister's blog entry.  6 days of a lot of firsts.  6 days of great memories. 

Did you know? Now I know! !

Ever wonder how someone's keys can just be there on the ground by the side of the road. Maybe it is a water gun or a pair of scissors. I have wondered how on earth some of this stuff gets lost! Now, I know. I wish I didn't know. All you need is a kid who can get into things and not put them back where they belong.
Today...Daddy's Buddy "borrowed" Dad's keys to get something out of dad's car.
Didn't just unlock the door from the garage door and hang them back up. Nope! He carried them out to the car. Then he carried them into the garage and placed them on the suburban's side runner. Close but not close enough to the keys' home. Hockey Player saw him do it. He didn't stop to think that is not where they belong. Nope! Not one bit ~ ARGH!
Big grocery shopping trip across town at the commissary. We drove the suburban of course. didn't know to check for car keys. Few more errands in the suburban. Time to go to Bingo, BigODaddyO can't find his car keys. Little bit of irritation, little bit of frustration, story comes out..........ugh!
I walked the neighborhood, hoping maybe they bounced off close to home. No such luck. Should be interesting to learn how much this one is going to cost. No spare keys for the car. :( That was the only set. At least I got a really good, long walk with the dog out of this experience.
All those things along the side of the road, are probably there courtesy of some young child who went to bed wishing he had listened about putting things away when you are done with them!

If Only He KNEW!!!

Big-O-Daddy-O is unfortunately not around much these days. The joys of working for the Air National Guard and taking classes for the job. It is a real bummer to not have him around as much as usual.
Monday on the way to swim lessons, we passed the cemetary down the street from us. The kids heard me sigh and say, "ohhhh"
They were quick to ask, "What?"
There was a service in progress and the patriot guard was there.
So I told them, "A service man has died."
Which lead to questions about how I knew? The patriot guard is there.
What is the patriot guard? Explained that they attend funerals of servicemen to show respect.
"Will they be at daddy's funeral?"
Me: "I don't know. That is up to your daddy. I don't know if he would want that. I won't push him one way or another..."
Flutter Nutter: "NOOO, we don't push Daddy's buttons!"
Laughter, and lots of it.
"What do they do at a military funeral?"
"They play taps. 21 gun salutes."
"What's taps?" and "21 gun Salute!, What is that?"
The discussion then turns back to Big-O-Daddy-O and his funeral. What they think should be done and we don't push his buttons, or mommy's or Fun Mom's....
The conversations we have when Big-O-Daddy-O isn't around. Good thing we all love him so much!