Think... Another new thing in our house AND it is working in UnexpectedWays!!

I have heard this acronym over the years.  But several months ago, it was revisited in our house. 

Before that even happened, last summer became the summer of "stop and think." 

Kids were doing crazy, reckless things and oopsie daisies were happening and I thought I was going to go bald from pulling my hair out before I ever turned gray!

A kiddo, a dear sweet lady and I visited about this months ago...it was like aha light bulbs went off.  Life was good.  Then fast forward and some of my kids hit new stages in personalities, quirks and behaviors.  The kind that can blind side a mother and she has NO. IDEA. HOW. TO. RESPOND.  It is wrong, but how to explain it?  How to teach something different?  Some concepts are big and vague and hard to explain to kids.  Hard for adults to discuss, there is just a knowing. 

So visiting with this dear sweet lady and she remembers "THINK" from our months ago conversation.  HUGE LIGHT BULB moment.  LIFE. HAS. NOT. BEEN. THE. SAME. in a very good way. 

All the kids have been taught it.  When there is an annoyance, we just say "Think."  Sometimes, it is pretty easy to figure out, but other times it takes some thinking. 

Is it True? is pretty clear cut. 

Is it Helpful?  or sometimes Is it Honest?  There is a difference between True and Honest sometimes.

Is it Inspired? but that can be difficult for a kid to grasp the concept of so we added Is it Important? 

One of our issues is correcting a slip of the tongue..is it really important to address every little slip?  Does it derail the flow of things?  Which leads into...

Is it Necessary?  Maybe it is True, maybe at times it could be Helpful, and Important but is it Necessary?  In our case, sometimes it is a distraction, slows progress down, just don't need to go there right now.

Is it Kind?  How is it making the other person feel?  All those other questions come into play as well...distracting? slowing things down?  preventing things from happening?  Frustrating someone else while doing all the above? In this case, how can we do/say this and be kind?

Loving it !!! 

Only a few eye rolls have happened so far. 

Something new we are trying

I have a kiddo that desperately wants to earn money.  I struggle to think on the spot.  I struggle with consistency and memory issues.  For instance, how much was the job worth last time???

I, also, want balance.  There are different beliefs regarding kids and chores and allowances and do we pay them for chores?  Well, I haven't had a clear solution or hint of what to do in 18 years of parenting, that is till this weekend.  

The challenge?  Coming up with a solution that addresses the personality and heart issues and needs of multiple children in the home.  For instance, I have one or more that would be all over getting up in the morning and working for money.  Meanwhile, regular chores and school work wouldn't get done.  

So I finally had a "duh!" Light bulb moment. I posted rules for earning money.  I posted jobs available to be worked for money, and kept the amounts low and affordable for me.  I made sure there were jobs that would need to be done frequently.  I, also, put in a stipulation...An act of kindness stipulation.  For every job done to earn money, an "act of kindness" needed to be completed.  I want them to experience the balance of just doing because it is right and good.  What never fails to amaze me is the "blindness" to things on the floor or odd little tasks that need doing and NOONE. notices. them.  The glazed over zombie looks when I point them out just causes me to shake my head.  In the last few weeks, I have heard, "but you didn't asked me" or "you didn't tell me to" more times than I care to count.  Even once is one time too many considering the age of the culprits.  So I am hoping my plan will encourage initiative and thoughtfulness and a change in attitude.  I, also, left a post-it notepad nearby to jot down job ideas to stick to the posters.  The kids were quick to notice jobs not mentioned, cleaning the car and vacuuming the upstairs.  Post it notes have been added.  I, also, created a note for the Christmas nativity.  It needs to be put away with love and care, so it is stuck to the acts of kindness chart.  What isn't pictured are the cards with their names on them and their "assigned" chores, individual to them.  They each have a couple of jobs to do on a regular basis throughout the week.  I haven't decided how frequently I will swap those out, but for now, I am hoping this works.

A little funny tidbit to add.  My college student walked in while I was hard at work creating my posters.  She got super excited!  Couldn't wait to join in on this new endeavor.  Apparently I got a little distracted and my cent signs were switched to dollar signs... Cleaning the entryways was suddenly worth $75 each and the pantry was worth $50.  She was ready to get busy!   Eye rolling commenced and I quickly burst her bubble.  She made my point!  And I quickly fixed my mistakes.  Amounts may need to be tweaked, but I would rather increase rates and create cheering than decrease and experience mutiny.   

Before I could post this, we also encountered another heart issue.  There was an offense.  A big hurt.  It wasn't the kind of hurt that could be resolved by buying a replacement thing...no tangible restitution could be made.  Apologies were made.  Forgiveness given.  But how does one demonstrate regret and love??? I am not all about earning forgiveness and grace, but there are times when a personal effort can go a long way.  Since creating the assigned chores and the charts, an INSpired Idea hit me.  An "act of kindness" which I called an act of "redemption"/"repentance" could be done.  I suggested to the offender that since I had to take the sibling away from the house an act of kindness could be done by completing a chore that would become a hardship later in the day... leaving the house always means less time to do school and chores, especially when there is a desire for "free" time. Translation...less free time.  My kids don't think "free time" spent at doctors' and other appointments is all that much fun!  Go figure?? :)  Before I left I heard the "offender" declaring "I HAVE to do..."  I quickly responded with "No, you don't have to, you get to choose. This is something you get to choose to do to show love and repentance and kindness.  No one says you have to, it is your choice.  I think it is the right thing to do, but it was only a suggestion.  So only do it, because you choose to do it."  Out the door I went.  My heart soared much later, when I discovered the job done and nothing more was said. 

My Teenager Theory

I have this theory.  I have, even in a brief embarrassing moment for my daughter, spoke to another teenager about my theory at an athletic event in Oklahoma.  Amazing what conversations can be had in a hotel elevator.  He nodded his head and agreed I had a point.
What is this theory?
Take your teenager's age and subtract ten.  That is their true age.  You just thought when you made it through the 2s and 3s life was going to get better.  Think crazed psycho laughter coming from me. 
NOPE!!!
The joys of 5 children in 10 years.  When my first was thirteen the last was 3.  I saw first hand one day when they both CHOSE to have a tantrum within minutes of each other.  Now I must say my oldest and youngest have a lot of similarities in their personalities.  That was my aha moment.  5 years later it has been observed by this Momma to be true more than not!
Today my 14 year old gave me flash backs to his younger years.  Gave him a job, took a shower and came back and it wasn't done.  Deer in the head lights look.  You meant now??  (or rather then?)  Now he did apply some critical thinking but his critical thinking led him straight back to the same choices he made when he was 4.  Look charming and absent of his mind!  I watch my younger two closely... 8 and 10.  I. IN. FOR. IT!!!
Today the 8 year old is crying because I set a timer for a handful of problems to be done in 30 minutes.  He would rather do the soccer homework for his coach on You Tube.  Yeah, whatever.  While he cries, he announces..."My head hurts!"  "There is no way I can do this!"  and the clincher, "I Hate my life!!!"  To which the almost 18 year old giggles and says, "I hate mine too." 
The 8 year old asks, "Why, because you are short?" 
The almost 18 year old, "NO, because, I am almost 18 and have to pay bills and work!" 
The almost 18 year old at some point also rolled her eyes an sighed..."The drama!!"
Yeah exactly!
So all you moms of youngers....I am warning it, enjoy them as they are cause they are who they are and are and they only get older... the drama gets more dramatic, the tantrums only get bigger and cluelessness loses some of its charm. 
We won't even discuss the prayers I say regarding the 10 year old.... He has his own set of quirks...like books belong in the closet and clothes belong on the bookshelf.  Beds are not for sleeping in...
I DON"T EVEN TRY TO IMAGINE WHAT HE WILL THINK WHEN HE IS A TEENAGER!!!
At least, I get a good laugh now and then. 
Lest you think it is all bad, it isn't.  They reach a certain wonderfulness between 9 and 12...They are helpful and capable and sometimes want to learn new things around the house.  Then they regress....A LOT!.  While they may act like the youngest you once knew ten years ago, you can have more intelligent conversations with them...just not when they have relapsed 10 years for whatever hormonal or emotional reason at the moment.  Deep breathes.  LAUGH!! it helps, just not when they are in their moment...run hide in the closet and laugh like a crazy person!

Seeing with New Eyes

Little Princess took the plunge.  Contacts for her !  She is growing up.  With my oldest girl, I have dragged my feet along the way.  Not wanting to rush things.  Plus I knew as she grew up the youngers would grow up a tad faster with all the newness being introduced along the way.  It has, also, been exciting to experience the firsts with my oldest.  I have worried back in my mind, that when it was my Little Princess' turn to do these firsts for her, my enthusiasm would be less.  It is different. It is still fun!  My experience with Fun Girl, has left me more experienced and yet excited in a new way... "I have a secret" excited!  I know what is coming, I am excited for her and can't wait to see her experience it.  Just as she is seeing the world with "new eyes", so am I.  I am so happy to be Mom to this beautiful young lady!

Out of the running for Mother of the Year!

Super Bowl Sunday, I lost any chance of winning the title. 
I went from being aghast and shocked and laughing out of pure shock to grieved and shedding a few tears. 
Again with the whole head injury thing.   I am beyond being able to make decisions. I defer all decisions to hubby. 

Fun Girl asked to have friends over for Super Bowl.  I didn't grasp all the details till the day before and day of...10+ girls invited!  It was all on Fun Girl to do what needed to be done.  The guys went to my in-laws.  Well, all except Hockey Player.  I took him to hang with the 7/8th graders from church.  Little Princess stayed with us at the house and had her own friends over.

Somewhere along the way, I understood the game ended at 9.  Hubby would be home and pick up Hockey Player and all would be good.  I can't keep up with departure times and such to get Fun Girl to work on time much less navigate all the stuff that gets thrown at me during the day.  I have turned into a one thing a day kind of gal.  Get to thinking about too many things, my head hurts, I get tired, I get really tired. 

So back to the party.  My job besides chaperone, is to work on my clutter mess while every one is doing their thing.  I do my job well.  I reduce my mountain by about half.  A beautiful aesthetic improvement to the room.  Hubby comes home. Do you notice?? Do you notice???  Compliments. Winding down.  Chidlren sent to bed.  I am thinking I might just go to bed and how sleepy I am starting to get.  Then the hubby asks me, "Where's Hockey Player?" 

I don't know.  Hubby looks at me really hard. 

Talking about an hour and a half after Hockey Player's party ended.  The kid didn't even call me.  Hubby looked like he was going to blow out of frustration.  He needed sleep.  He needed to go to work.  Called the parents hosting....I made record time to the house.  Stuttered and stammered and slurred through my apologies...

Why didn't HOckey Player call?  Well, one of his friends had just left 30 minutes prior.  He knew we would come.  Just figured we had to wait till all the kids had left our house.  The parents...well they knew what Super Bowl night can be like with a bunch of kids that can't drive.  Figured we were up to our eyeballs in the chauffeur business.    Nope, just brain damaged and forgot one.  I am so glad I had not climbed under the covers yet.  The only thing that could make this story worse. 

Hockey Player totally unphased.  He didn't even remember this was the second time Dad and I had miscommunicated and left him waiting.  He really is too quiet of a kid... he needs to become more of a pest and NOISY...  I feel like pond scum.  I love that boy way to much to forget him.  I am glad I didn't wake to a phone call wondering if all was okay and if we wanted our son back ?!?

Alternatives to stubborness!

Monday was my first day back in the saddle.  Suprisingly, I met the morning without any dread.  I asked hubby for last week off from normal duties.  Often times I do that and then push through and do stuff anyways.  Last week, that wasn't happening God and my body pretty much made me rest.  I didn't get much done other than what was on the calendar appointment wise.  There are big decisions coming, but first the discussing needs to happen and the prayer.  For now, I just put one foot in front of the other...after my prayer filled shower.  I don't know why it is, but my prayer closet is the shower.  The only time these days I pretty much can't be disturbed.  Alone in the warm shower, I am able to be quiet and seek the Lord about my day, my thoughts are sorted and I have direction.  And Lord Help Us, if my shower gets delayed!  Today, was one of those days, but it worked.  It worked for the best because I had a chance to meet the disagreeables and argumentatives first and I knew what the battle was before me for the day...and because I wasn't going to argue, I assigned a chore or two and headed to the shower before I became grumpy. 

The battle:  Whether learning how to make a map was important?  Whether maps were important at all?  Why should I have to do it again, when I already did it and I did the best I could the first time?
AIY!  Somewhere in there I heard a voice speak about technology and SIRI and GPS and I honestly don't know if it was the sarcastic inner me talking or it was one of the kids.   But AIY!   First I addressed redoing the assignment issue....We do our best and sometimes we learn our error and retry because we know our best is now not the best we can do, because we can easily redo and fix our mistake.  In otherwords practice and practice may not make perfect, but it makes better and leading to our best.  SO NOT THE ANSWER someone wanted! 

And to the shower I go.... and since the morning was almost gone, I exit the shower with a plan and instructions for all children to be ready to go in 10 minutes.  Yep, I am so able to pull that off these days. 

My plan: The children will navigate me to Big Sis's job where we will drop her off.  Then they will navigate me to McDonald's and then to the Zoo.  Fun Girl freaks!  Convinced we will be late.  And the extra 15 minutes of drive time I have allotted will not be enough.  Silly girl.  The did great and we arrived with minutes to spare. 

THE MAN begged for a turn, and so it was granted.  He had to direct me to the nearest McDonald's.  He is 7.  Not one sibling had an ounce of faith that he could do it.  But I had listened to him in the car and he was amazing.  He has an awesome sense of direction.  To everyone's delight we arrived in good time and there was food to quiet the natives.  Not the best of food, but food nonetheless...I was doing this on zero prep time, but on totally on God's clock!

The next task...navigate me to the zoo!  THE MAN jumps on this one and quickly starts telling me which way to turn.  None of the others dared to try.  He was awesome, directing me the whole way with affirmation from Hockey Player! 

At the Zoo:  Child 4 picks an animal to visit..Child 5 navigates the way using the map.  Then Child 3 picks an animal and Child 4 navigates the way but including a bathroom stop along the way.  Child 2 and 3 the next and so forth.  We had to modify the plan along the way as I started to fatigue near the end.  The point, to learn to read a map and appreciate a legend and compass rose.

 

Success!
As the momma was getting droopy she saw the lying lions and wanted to join them.

 

Shortly after getting home and trying to work on seat work
these cubs were down for the count!

and this one found a sunny spot.

 



Suprises, a double take and a double dose in learning about Compassion

We spent the day in the car again. 
A Thursday kind of day.
A late start in the morning, Awana the night before and it takes everyone a while to wind down and share their stories of the night.
Piano lessons and back and forth from home, because not everyone has to go.
In the back and forths, running Fun Girl to work.
Back home for a quick lunch.
Then to Bal-A-Vis-X.
Then to the grocery store to get the latest ad.
My day stops here.
I am lost in my own world as I sit in the car and wait for Hockey Player to run in, grab the ad and come back to me, stopped at the curb.  He comes to the door and says, someone fell. 
I quickly recall the vague thud I heard and start looking around.
A deep intake of my breath.
A "grandpa" is down  in the parking lot and 2 ladies were helping him.
I quickly put my hazard lights on, put the burb in park and tell the kids to stay.
I see the ladies are talking to him and I run inside to tell Customer Service someone has fallen.  They quickly send the managers out.
He is a little disoriented. His face is banged up and he is bleeding quite a bit from his scrapes.
He misjudged the curb/ground and face planted.
My heart was in my throat.
He just wanted to get in his car and drive home to the next block over where he lives in Assisted/Independent Living facility.
But he is so disoriented. 
Rides are offered. A chair is offered. Paper towels.  Someone got ice.
I ask him the name of where he lives.
Blessedness that it is, I am very familiar with his residence. I have family there. I quickly call.  They send over their Director of Nursing and instruct us to call an ambulance. 
The managers do that. 
I see he is being well cared for and try to gracefully exit.
I stop at the care facility to give them a first hand account for when he returns later on...as disoriented as he is he might not be able to tell them much.  Plus to let them know he has 2 bags of refrigerated items. 
All the while grateful he is well cared for and being watched out for. 
As I return my car, I hear one of children ask why I had to get out of the car and  help?
My eye brows shot up.
Because it was the right thing to do I am thinking.
I try to say because he needed help. 
But this kiddo, is grumpy.  Wanted to be at home.  So did I.  Just didn't get it.  Which for this kiddo when this stage of self centeredness has started it is really hard to refocus. 
I ask my children if they knew the story of the Good Samaritan. 
I was shocked when my younger two said no.
NO???
I gasped and did a double take. 
My brain went into over drive. How could that be? 
We read Bible stories.  We talk Bible stuff.  We memorize verses. We go to church.  They watch Bible videos.  How? But....?
I stop the bumbling around in my brain.
I share the story as I drive. 
I ask who was a good neighbor?  why? 
Now they all have heard the story and know.
But now, it is quiet and I can think.
It is just like I share at times with friends and my oldest. Just like I had shared that morning with a friend.  God doesn't always take us down the same path as the person next to us.  He has different lessons for us at different times. We don't learn his ways over night.  Sometimes there are even some slips and falls along the way, just like when a baby learns to walk and become a toddler.  Yes, my oldest were schooled in the story of the Good Samaritan.  Now so were my youngers.  My youngers on the other hand have been learning lessons that my olders are learning just now. 
Different people, different paths, different learning curves and lessons plans created by the Master Educator.  Patience and understanding and compassion for one another, for we don't know where the Lord has taken them, is taking them or will be taking them. 

Their eyes were causing trouble!

My two youngest boys remind me tremendously of my childhood.

My older three are the kind of children that could allow a parent to become prideful.

They simply just never participated in the,

"He's touching me!!! 

She's looking at me!!!

They breathed on me!!!"

At least not until the younger two boys came along.

GOD knew the risk of me becoming prideful as a parent.

He knew it.

I have a tendency to get comfortable in my abilities.

He knows that.

So He allows circumstance to keep me on my knees. 

To keep me focused on HIM.

To NEED Him.

Because He loves me.

Because He knows without Him, my life is nothing.

One day, the sun is shining.

There is promise in the day.

A promise to accomplish much.

A promise of time together as a family.

A promise that I will need my Heavenly Father to survive,

as I step out of the bathroom, dressed and ready for the day

when I hear my two youngest striving against the other's existence.

**SIGH**

Lord, help me to get through today.

As I sit at the table, trying to encourage children to start school.

It begins, "He is looking at me!"

"Nuh huh ~ He is looking at me!"

**Sigh**

God reminds me of the poster board in my room, I recently pulled out.

The older children come running.  Hanging over my shoulders.

What are you doing?

Shhh!

Still sitting at the table, the two youngers are still looking at each other and annoying one another.

Supposedly, trying to do school but can't 'cause "HE" is looking at him.

** SIGH **

And I plop these poster board dividers down and tell them to do school.

They laughed.

I didn't, my sense of humor had left me.

I think I forgot to ask God, to sustain my humor for the day.

I wish I could say it solved all my problems. 

One of my "sweet" little gifts discovered the poster board shielded him from my view and he snuck away to play instead of doing school.

**SIGH**

But at least they weren't looking at each other.

 

Reasons for Homeschooling...

There are lots of reasons to home school.

 

Personalized education

 

Health concerns

 

Religious preferences

 

Personal convictions

 

It's fun

 

You want to travel as a family

 

Sports

 

Personal interests/pursuits

 

 

And if you asked Dad's Bud, he might say cause he likes to do school

this way:  

 

 

 

 

How to get your 6 year old to take medicine

The Man started running a fever. 

Thrashing and coughing and sooo uncomfortable.

He didn't sleep well.

(Let's just assume I wrote MOM didn't sleep well.)

His throat hurts.

His head hurts.

His body hurts.

He is HOT!

My first thought is strep.

School is back in session and that is what happens.

Doesn't seem to matter we HOME School.

We still get what the public school kids get.

Haven't figured that one out.

The docs haven't either.

So we take the first appointment, cause I am tired.

AND he is dramatic and we need relief.

He has some contagion I have never heard of before.

Antibiotics are prescribed.

We get the said antibiotics.

He digs his toes into his blankets and sets his lips.

I have had that kind of medicine.

I don't like it.

BUT IT WILL MAKE YOU BETTER. 

(I don't add, if you are better, I am happy---

cause you aren't so whining and grumpy. )

PLLLLLLEAAAAASE take the medicine.

NO!

I will let you wash it down with some of this...

Nope.

We call Daddy out of desperation. 

He will stop here

and get you whatever you want.

"I don't care what you get"

He must be sick.

Still not getting anywhere.

Siblings are suggesting candy, slushes, pop, treats.

Everyone wants him better.

NO ONE wants his contagion.

NOPE.

Then I offer to buy everyone lunch from

It works.  He will try.

But he has held out so long, that he gets to chug some...

and he gets not one treat but two from

A slush and apple pie.

I take Fun Girl to work and stop for lunch at

And I sit on the couch and read these little lines on the bottom.

AND I YELLLL

STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

PEANUTS!

DON'T

EAT

YOUR

LUNCH

THE 3 NOT SICK KIDS COME RUNNING!

Good Golly Molly!

I had no idea restaurants still fried in peanut oil.

Fortunately, THE MAN had gone to use the restroom.

He had yet to touch his food.

And I kept thanking the Lord.

The only thing worse than being sick:

 sick and getting anaphylaxsis

And the shot from one of these

His response,

That's okay mom, I like

Translation: I was going back out and getting him a Happy Meal which was also

HAPPY TUMMY.

HAPPY TUMMY is the label we put on food that is food allergy safe.

It is food that will not make The Man sick.

Therefore he has a Happy Tummy.

Something we started back when he was one and we first discovered food allergies in our home.

AND THAT is how you get a 6 year old to take his medicine.

Who knows what it will take tomorrow!

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When I Grow Up...

and get married and become a dad.
Those were the words I heard come out of "The Man's" mouth the other day.
I had to shake the shock and finishing listening to what he was going to do...

When I grow up and get married and become a dad I am not going to Sparks and Awana.  I am going to stay at home. 

Silence from Mom.  He was trying to make a point. 
Then I said, "I am sorry, I will be very disappointed in the man you have become if you do that."

Silence.

Why would he say this?  He loves Sparks.  He loves Awana. 

He has recently discovered a favorite show is going to be on tv on Wednesdays.

I quietly told Big O Daddy O about this conversation in the car.  He chuckled and he told me why.

I guess "The Man" has been making his case to Dad recently when he couldn't win me over.  I had told him, I wasn't willing to lock him in the closet and I had given my word to serve at Awana.  I was going to keep my word.

So as he is making his case to Dad he tells Big O Daddy O,

"I have to watch it on Wednesday! It is a new episode!  Then it will be a re-run and I HATE re-runs!"

There you have it.  When he grows up and becomes a dad he will never probably watch tv because he will only get to watch the re-runs. 

New Perspective on Bedtime!

Flutter Nutter just rushed downstairs with sooo much excitement and announced, "I get to go to bed! I am soooo happy! Daddy says I can go to bed. Now I don't have to be tired. I love him soo much, infinity beyond zero and all around the earth millions of times!"

Now I know, instead of saying "Go to bed." I need to say, "You can go to bed now, so you won't be tired."

Mystery solved.

Then what princess am I ?

So, I can't leave well enough alone.  After realizing, Cinderella I am not, I started to wonder which princess I most like.  I have to admit, I don't feel much like a princess these days.  Not with a household of seven.  Princesses live lives of glamour, beautiful clothes, and travel.  They must, right?  That is what all the fairy tales paint it out to be.  Never mind that the England's new princess opts to do her own household chores right now.  She doesn't have kids.  William doesn't count.  I mean seriously, my life is most like Snow White and the seven dwarfs. 
Yet, when I spend time reflecting on the qualities of Snow White, the animals don't come peacefully into my home to help clean.  No, they come bounding in the door in the shape of a black lab, one that figures obstacles were meant to be mown over.  Doesn't matter if the obstacle is a pile of clean laundry.  The trash can is just a large food dish. 
Though, I do have a lot of little people around.  But they never put me in a glass box in sadness because I am "asleep" and they miss me.  Nooo, they shhhshhh each other out of fear of waking me.  I am beginning to think I resemble the old hag the most.  The scary one.  Seriously, I am not taking the nap cause I feel my most charming self.  They aren't shhhshhh each other out of love for me and my need for rest.  They are shhhshhh each other, so I will stay asleep, cause when I closed my eyes I was just as haggard as the old women in the story and just a mite grumpy.  They fear if I awake a bit too soon, I will still be an old hag.  They are hoping for a miracle, that I will awaken as Snow White. 
Like I said, I think I should have left things well enough alone. 

Veggie Tales growing up? ?

We have had to make some HARD decisions lately. It is hard being 14.
It is hard to be 14 and social.
It is even harder when parents decide to cut the social part of life so that "business" around home can get done.
But if it is hard to be a 14 year old under these circumstances, it is even harder being the parent.
In all honesty as a mom, I want for her to have it all. Should I let her have it all.... No.
In all honesty, I don't want to punish my children. Should I, to help teach them from right and wrong and hopefully direct them in the way to becoming the kind of people we pray they will be... Yes.
So what do I do to cope, I try to find humor in the struggles and heartache of being a parent. Unfortunately, my sense of humor is totally lost on my oldest and sometimes my other children. But what is a mom to do? I am trying to not go crazy. I really don't want my children to have to take me on a road trip somewhere quiet, peaceful, where the bars on the windows are to only keep people from breaking in (**wink, wink**). The place where I can rest, and maybe learn to stop doing the chicken dance.

So, I find myself tonight, remembering the Veggie Tales song that goes...
God is bigger than the boogie man, He is bigger than Godzilla and the monsters on tv...and He's looking out for you and me.

So as Fun Mom comes upstairs, obviously very perturbed with me and won't look me in the eye, my silly side starts singing. (I admit all very quietly and not within her earshot.)
God is bigger than my teen-ager, He is bigger than the monster in my basement, God is bigger than hormones and He is watching out for you and me! !

The missing rib....

Today I am wondering about the rib God removed from Adam to make Eve.
What was in that rib?
It must have been more than just a bone.
The differences between boys/men and girls/women are too numerous to count.
Boys mark territory. They pee in places that makes us think they are truly a part of the animal Kingdom. Sooo UNcivilized. For instance Flutter Nutter just filled up a squirt gun and sprayed his sister's bed ?!?! He just keeps getting my finger pointed to his bedroom. Much to his frustration, because he did after all say he was Sorry.
Girls they throw things. Things that can be picked back up and put away or swept up and trashed.
Boys (at least my boys) find blood and gore cool. The messier and more disgusting the bettter. Bodily noises are these guys equivalent to classical music and the symphony.
My boys are constantly in a rumble and bumble over their places in the home. They are constantly trying to be the alpha male in the home. Arms and legs always flying and piled up in the middle of the floor. They say they are wrestling. But whenever I sit down and turn on Animal Planet, I think I am watching home movies of my children.
So what was really in that rib? ?

He's a Thoughtful Kid

Lately there has been a lot of discussions about this summer.
Plans are being made.
Registration forms being filled out.
Fun Mom is in her groove....social, social, ministry, kids
Little Princess...camp, sounds like fun--sure, play, play, mud puddle making
The little two boys, just glad to have big brother free to play more since his school work is just about done.
Hockey Player, he is a thoughtful one.
Asked if he wanted to go to camp.
"I dunno, I like to be at home."
Can't argue with that.
We have encouraged him to think about it.
But the past couple of days, I have been blessed with a snapshot with how he thinks.
He started asking questions about camp.
Is the food good?
Will there be enough to fill me up?
How will I know when to get up for breakfast?
(Noticing a theme there--- FOOD!)
Fortunately, Fun Mom was full of information for him.
What will we do?
How do we know when and where?

The final verdict... He wants to go to camp. I am sure we will be sending him with plenty of canteen money. Dad and I will experience a big first around here. All 3 olders will be at camp. We will be left with only Daddy's Buddy and Flutter Nutter. Fun Mom will go as a counselor. (Crazy, that she is old enough to do that now. ) Little Princess is old enough to go as well.
How will we ever survive without the 3 of them?

One of those days....

I am in the midst of a Beth Moore Bible Study. Esther, It's Tough Being A Woman.

This past week there was a lesson that dealt with annoyances vs. agonies.
"Here's the trap, however: If we distance ourselves long enough from real needs, we replace them with those that aren't. Pretense becomes the new real and suddenly a delay in the delivery of our new couch becomes a terrible upset. We are wise to force ourselves to keep differentiating between simple inconveniences and authentic tribulations. The more detached and self-absorbed we become, the more we mistake annoyances for agonies. It happens to all of us. "

She goes on to write, "I often have to tell myself to get a grip and downsize how I've blown up a comparatively small problem."

Since I did this lesson, it has been a resounding echo in the back of my mind. I can reflect back on real true agonies in my life and how I have responded.

Then I start to think about the comfortable life I have and how far I am from having "real needs" in my life.

Then my children start being children. And let me tell you, the annoyances pile up. I mean the pile is huge. The annoyances are great and unending. A 4 year old that just won't stop disobeying and laughs when you discipline him. A 13 yr. old who is getting rather perturbed that her test has been interrupted and would like to finish. A 6 year old, who just has to have a particular green bag, in spite of the fact, the two bags are identical. An 8 and 10 year old, enjoying all the chaos because they can escape school work and mess around. The pressure in my chest and head is increasing. I feel like I am going to explode. I rename the pile from annoyances to agonies. I struggle to get through the moment wishing for a vacation or simply Calgon to take me away. I chase my brood through the routine of dinner and then to the car. All so I can enjoy some peace at church while they are at their activities. The pressure in my head and chest resides. I am laughing again.

And then...

My little "angels" sleep, and I remember the lesson again. I wonder when will I pause to recognize the pile for what it is. Minor annoyances that won't last and that I can quickly turn into teaching opportunities with the right attitude. Instead of blowing up and/or pushing through the muck till bedtime, I need to tell myself to get a grip and see the situations for what they are, small problems or better yet teaching opportunities, . Then, with a peace not my own, address each situation accordingly.

Valentine's Party 2010

This year I wasn't too excited about Valentine's Day. But my kiddos reminded me through their actions they are getting older. With very little involvement on my own, they made the Valentines and got stuff organized for the party! Sometimes, I just see these fun moments as just more work. So when my kids take the reins and show me they are growing up and can handle some of the details on their own, I get to step back, relax and enjoy the moments of their growing up. I find at times now, I am less "busy" providing them with occassions to do and instead more busy watching them demonstrate what they can do. A nice little twist. A little bittersweet. But I won't get all sad and melancholy about it. They will grow up, that is how it is. I want to enjoy each moment. Even if it means, they are showing me how grown up they are.

Be Careful of Your Thoughts...

Early this week, I was reflecting on how grateful I was my children liked their names.
Never once had they bemoaned their name or wanted to change their name.
A lot of prayer went into each of my children's names.
For some of the kiddos, a lot of negotiation and reading on the meaning of names between the mom and dad.
Then out of the blue, Daddy's Buddy informed me he wanted to change his name.
It is to be:
Cad Bane (a bounty hunter from Star Wars)
Of course for this posting it has taken a coordinated effort of the 3 older ones to tell me how to spell this name. My hearing isn't the best and I am a little Star Wars illiterate. Never seemed important to know each name belonging to clone troopers and bounty hunters.
But Cad Bane ?
In all my wonderful motherliness, I very calmly inform Daddy's Buddy
I prayerfully named you.
I will call you by the name chosen for you.
If I change the name I call you, it will be to call you, "My sweet, sweet, buttercup" cause I love you so much.
DB: "NOOOOoooooOOOOOOoooooo"
He has agreed I may call him by the name chosen for him before he was born.

He tried again with Big O Daddy O this morning.
BODO not knowing the previous conversation said something similar and the kids were floored.
The Mom and Dad UNITED!
Score for the Parents!
No the kids weren't floored we were united. They were floored by the similarities in our responses.

The beginning of wisdom..

is knowing when to be silent.
This sweet little saying is recited quite often in our home these days.
What happened to the innocence of our older children. The worst part is they are corrupting our younger ones. The older ones, didn't have older siblings to teach them how to mock and laugh at their parents. But now.... it is all over. There are 5 of them, and they all think they have a future in comedy.

So, I think there should be an ALL NEW but very important rite of passage for turning 13.
The new teenager should lose all ability to speak for one year!

It is amazing what comes out of Fun Mom's mouth these days.
She saw me taking pictures of some pants to put on Ebay and asked why I was selling them. Easy enough.. they don't fit anymore!
You know what she says, "Good, now you just have to get down to a size ??"

I couldn't believe my ears! I think she needs to lose her tongue and vocal cords for a year.
Next I try on a top I am trying to decide whether to keep or not.
In all fairness she can't help herself, in her opinion she is the know all of fashion. It is one of those super cute, form hugging tops. But as you go about your day it creeps on up to your middle and there it stays all scrunchied up. I try to explain I am not going to be walking around, pulling a shirt down to straighten it all day long. She very seriously replied, "I am not going to say it."
And then she does, "I do it all the time."
" Well I am not 13, I am 29 years old and a mom to 5 children and that is just not realistic." I quickly told her.
She dropped over laughing. She just had to tell the 2 others that came by, that I was 29!
Alright I am not 29. I know that. I just couldn't exactly remember how old I was at the time. But did they all have to collapse in fits of hysteria. Then, did they have to go on about what a "Beautiful (with great sarcasm) 29 year old" I am.