My Teenager Theory

I have this theory.  I have, even in a brief embarrassing moment for my daughter, spoke to another teenager about my theory at an athletic event in Oklahoma.  Amazing what conversations can be had in a hotel elevator.  He nodded his head and agreed I had a point.
What is this theory?
Take your teenager's age and subtract ten.  That is their true age.  You just thought when you made it through the 2s and 3s life was going to get better.  Think crazed psycho laughter coming from me. 
NOPE!!!
The joys of 5 children in 10 years.  When my first was thirteen the last was 3.  I saw first hand one day when they both CHOSE to have a tantrum within minutes of each other.  Now I must say my oldest and youngest have a lot of similarities in their personalities.  That was my aha moment.  5 years later it has been observed by this Momma to be true more than not!
Today my 14 year old gave me flash backs to his younger years.  Gave him a job, took a shower and came back and it wasn't done.  Deer in the head lights look.  You meant now??  (or rather then?)  Now he did apply some critical thinking but his critical thinking led him straight back to the same choices he made when he was 4.  Look charming and absent of his mind!  I watch my younger two closely... 8 and 10.  I. IN. FOR. IT!!!
Today the 8 year old is crying because I set a timer for a handful of problems to be done in 30 minutes.  He would rather do the soccer homework for his coach on You Tube.  Yeah, whatever.  While he cries, he announces..."My head hurts!"  "There is no way I can do this!"  and the clincher, "I Hate my life!!!"  To which the almost 18 year old giggles and says, "I hate mine too." 
The 8 year old asks, "Why, because you are short?" 
The almost 18 year old, "NO, because, I am almost 18 and have to pay bills and work!" 
The almost 18 year old at some point also rolled her eyes an sighed..."The drama!!"
Yeah exactly!
So all you moms of youngers....I am warning it, enjoy them as they are cause they are who they are and are and they only get older... the drama gets more dramatic, the tantrums only get bigger and cluelessness loses some of its charm. 
We won't even discuss the prayers I say regarding the 10 year old.... He has his own set of quirks...like books belong in the closet and clothes belong on the bookshelf.  Beds are not for sleeping in...
I DON"T EVEN TRY TO IMAGINE WHAT HE WILL THINK WHEN HE IS A TEENAGER!!!
At least, I get a good laugh now and then. 
Lest you think it is all bad, it isn't.  They reach a certain wonderfulness between 9 and 12...They are helpful and capable and sometimes want to learn new things around the house.  Then they regress....A LOT!.  While they may act like the youngest you once knew ten years ago, you can have more intelligent conversations with them...just not when they have relapsed 10 years for whatever hormonal or emotional reason at the moment.  Deep breathes.  LAUGH!! it helps, just not when they are in their moment...run hide in the closet and laugh like a crazy person!

Little Brothers are Super Clever

I open my front door to see this....

 

What are you doing?

 

"Dad said we can't be outside with the IPad."

 

By all accounts, they are sitting in the doorway!!!

I gave them five more minutes and shut the door.

 

The creative problem solving in this house exceeds my creativity and expectations.  5 years ago, I might have been 3 steps ahead.  Not anymore, I am about 3 steps behind. 

 

Gotta love these boys.

When homeschooling gets to the youngest child....

The answers you get to questions are quite humorous. They have so many more varied experiences the older siblings didn't have, just because they get dragged around following the older siblings. :)
For instance the following questions in his Explode the Code workbooks:
Can a stitch be made in a dish? yes.  Really?  "But Mom it is plausible!" "If you want to use a dish when you knit you can stitch in a dish."   What really killed me, is he used plausible in a sentence and used it correctly!!  Probably from watching all those Myth Buster episodes!

Will you get rich if you sell trash?  yes.  Really?  Well if the trash has gold in it, you can....  He has been to way too many garage sales.  He, also, has a grandpa that likes to junk and strip items down to elements to be taken to the recycling center where he is paid by the weight.  If you are a kid, any money in the pocket amounts to being rich! 

A word well spoken

I love home schooling.  I love the mornings and listening to the various exchanges between my children as the day begins.  I never know what I will wake to, a hungry cat, a dog digging in the trash, a ball crashing through the house, the beep beep of a video game, or the serenades of my youngest favorite song of the morning.  Sometimes, I wake to find lots of school work being done.  However, I often wake up to some kind of ruckus, a skirmish of sorts filled with laughter or run and hide I have antagonized a sleepy bear like brother and he is going to get me kind of skirmish. 

This past week, I have been left pondering the exchange between two of my children.  Left in awe of the maturity and wisdom in the response of one child.  Pondering how do I respond and where did this child of mine learn a response such as this?  I am realizing my children are growing up and my role is changing.
You ask what did my child say?

As I was peeking out from the covers debating whether I wanted to leave their warmth, I hear pounding on a bathroom door.  "You have been in there 20-25 minutes, I need the shower."  I am prepared for bathroom drama.  Muffled noises, I can only imagine the response as I know the name of the child on the other side of the door.  And then the response, "The past doesn't matter (as when I showered last), I need to take a shower and I would appreciate you respecting that."  Not said with attitude.  Not said with sass or anger.  Said matter of fact and respectfully.

At that moment I was so proud of this child and relayed that information.  No arguing.  No hurt feelings.  Just to the point. 

Shortly after the door opened.  No bickering, drama, door slamming or hatefulness.  Just stepping aside and offering the respect and bathroom as requested.  A word well spoken, a soft word and where wrath could of reigned it was turned away.  Without knowing it, these 2 children have left their Momma pondering and reflecting on the choices they have made.  I am humbled by the maturity and growth they are both demonstrating.  As I remember the impatience and frustration I often exhibit, I am grateful to see they don't always follow their Momma's example. 

A new quoteable courtesy of The Man!

I love my "Man".  He really is The Man.  He has a super big heart.  Wants everyone to be happy. 

He has a creative, artistic streak that makes me look at the world differently and smile. 

So when I was getting ready for church and cruised through the living room, I stopped to ask him what he needed to do to be ready himself. 

He launched into an explanation about his outfit.  He is a clothing expert.  He has an opinion on colors, fabrics, textures, and designs.  Honestly, he has really good taste. 

So when he proceeded to tell me, "This is the only shirt that goes with these shorts." I was really proud of my ability to stay straight face and proceed into a normal conversation.  I honestly have to credit God with my composure.  His heart is so big, he genuinely was serious, I didn't want to hurt or frustrate him.  But I was truly in awe that he really thought these two items went together!

I explained he need to wear nice jeans or khakis...shorts or pants.  Not athletic shorts.  Pulled a pair out of the laundry not quite folded, but perfect for church.  I didn't snicker, didn't laugh and didn't try to correct him.  I did ask him if I could take his picture. 

 

Later, I would learn from Hockey Player, he only pulled his jeans on over his perfect shorts.  I definitely need to pull out the totes to help him find the perfect shirt for his perfect shorts. 

 

Sparks-A-Rama and sweet conversations

This year, The Man begged and pleaded to do Sparks-A-Rama.  We were not sure what to do.  We knew DaddyO would not be available to take The Man.  Serious skepticism that I could handle the venture.  So The Man took it upon himself to come up with a solution.  He went to big sis, Fun Girl.

The Man:  How much do you make an hour? 
Fun Girl: answers...I don't remember the amount
The Man:  Will you take me to Sparks A Rama?  I will pay you lost wages. 
(Fun Girl life guards on Saturdays)

FG could not turn down such a sweet request.  She told him if we couldn't find a ride, she would take the day off.  Well the day came, I was doing better and there were people to help if needed.  So I took The Man.  I loved watching him every minute I was able.  His smile was infectious.  I didn't make it the whole time.  The noise and activity wore me down and I went to the car for the last 30 minutes or so.  It was so worth it. 
My favorite part of the day was when we were driving to Sparks-A-Rama.  He started talking to me about heaven.  He asked some questions. Then there were some more questions.  There in the parking lot we prayed together and he asked Jesus to be His Savior.  So, so, so, happy to have been with him that morning!!

Getting ready to enter the gym!

Lined up and waiting to start Sparky Crawl!

Grabbing the pin !

Another Fun Girl Quoteable!

Because Fun Girl would not expect me to do it, I am posting this!

Under the influence of end of day fatigue and post-concussion syndrome

and the inability to argue and defend myself.

My girls and my friend put this on my head!

They found it in the back of the store at Kirklands.

Then Fun Girl texted out the picture with the following quote,

"The devil wears discount Prada"

 



Awesome-ness! Fun Girl Quoteables!

I love my Fun Girl! 
I am not looking forward to graduation in a year.
I am not looking forward to the day when she spreads her wings and leaves the nest.
I like her company. 
She brings a smile to my face.

I love this plate of food! 

Swimming makes her sooooo hungry. 

She is like her momma and likes her sweets.

So she sat down at this potluck dinner and announced...
"this will be 2 swim practices!" 

Love it! 

Love that she is willing to count the swim practices....

cause I should and don't.  

 

 

oh yeah...that is yumminess at its best. 

Where is the fresh air???

My boys, all 3 of them, were diagnosed with brochitis this morning! ? ! ?
What is going on?
Then this afternoon, The Man started crying.  Panick type of cry.
I tried to get him to settle down.  As he started to quiet for me, I noticed flaring nostrils and lots of retraction! 
Another breathing treatment was needed.
But it had only been a few hours since his last.
The signs of distress were far more severe than I had seen yet.
His breathing evened out and settled down. 
We loaded up. 
His O2 made the nurse question the situation and she consulted the doctor.
We are back on steroids, antibiotics and breathing treatments every 2.5 to 3 hours....around the clock.
AIY!
I am grateful for medical care.  I am grateful for the ability to treat at home.  But I am sooo ready for the creepy crud and viruses  in the area to DIE!
The Man asked me today, "Why do they call it a cold when your head is not cold, it's hot??"
I don't know.

From the Mouth of Dad's Bud

Mom, will you be ALIVE when I move out? 
Me: I sure hope so.
(WHAT !?!?! where did that come from?)
Cause, I am wondering if you would want to come to my house to swim.  So you wouldn't have to pay for the Y.  And if you aren't able to get in the pool (cause I am so old and decrepitate) you could sit in my hot tub. 
Isn't he considerate? 

But he doesn't stop there...

Mom do you want me to have grand kids?  Or do you want to have grand kids?
Sometimes I wonder where these ideas of his come from.......

Out of The Mouth of The Man

It is early this morning.  It is Thursday.  We have piano, Bal-A-Vis-X, Fun Girl goes to work and we have school to do all before 4 pm.  I up a bit early so I can squeeze in a trip to a neighbor's garage sale.  The Man is up too.  He must have heard the water in the pipes running for my shower.
He knocks on the bathroom door. 
"YES" 
The Man: Just checking to see if it is you.
Then it starts.  The chattering. He is our songbird in the morning. 
After about 5 minutes, I laugh and say, "You sure talk a lot!"
The Man replies, "But sometimes I shut my mouth!"
I chuckled at the choice of his words. 
He does my heart good. 
I tell the Dad about our conversation.
He tells me about their very similar one last night.  Except The Man said he was quiet sometimes.

Quoteables courtesy of THE MAN

Riding in the car I hear lots of chattering of course but I hear "MOM, THE Man is using his middle finger...HELP! "
Good Golly, 
MAN!  You can't use your middle finger to point.  It offends people.  Some people would be so offended they would beat you up.  NOT GOOD!  STOP!
THe Man: okay
Sigh, and I continue to drive and there is more indistinct chattering.  Not sure that it is indistinct or if I am trying to go into "my world," but I picked up this blurb that made me wrinkle forehead and ask myself, "What?"
From the backseat...
The Man: You can go to Heaven or Satan's world.
There is some more chatter.  I am chuckling to myself over his way of saying hell.
Then I hear
The Man: It's a bad word and I have to come up with a way to describe it.  (Satan's world)
About this time Fun Girl gets involved and asks, "What letter does it start with?"
The Man:  an F
I am thinking, "Man I have failed!  He doesn't know the letter sound at the beginning of hell."
Fun Girl asks: Does that word have 3 or 4 letters?  She is remembering this conversation.
The Man: 4
Laughter... full on laughter...side splitting laughter.  I didn't clarify anything.  Because it could have been anything.  But Fun Girl is old enough, she knew this could go anywhere and she lost all control of herself and laughed herself silly. 
Which led to her telling me she retold this story to the lifeguards at work.  How they laughed!  Big mistake cause The Man overheard.  Up to this point only letters and numbers had been spoken.  NO words.  He had to ask about THAT word again.  To which then Dad's Bud flips out and can't believe he said the word. 

Wednesday night quoteables

 Dad's Bud

at Awana asks Commander Evans,

"Do you know what is better than a hug?"

~"Nothing is better than a hug," and he gives her a great big one.~

 

 

At Awana ~ The Man is learning a new verse.

 

Children, obey your parents in the Lord

for this is right.

Ephesians 6:1

He looks at his leader and says,

This should be easy!

 

He thinks super hard.... he is struggling to get the "for this is right"

 

Leader comes to tell me this,

and then she adds, "I just couldn't figure out what part was suppose to be easy."

"The reciting the verse, or living it out."

 

I asked him at home.

Didn't get an answer.

Best to claim the fifth anyhow when you are 6 going on 7.

Just Telling it Like it is....

So, I am not much for pretending to be perfect.
Far from Martha Stewart. 
My home will never be featured in Better Homes and Gardens unless it is a before shot or maybe in a what not to do article. 
But that is okay.
We laugh, we smile, we cry, we live and we embrace all that life is at the moment. 

Imagine all that bubbled into a home school day.
Gonna be one of those stories.
I wake up.  Kids are getting along.  (yes!  Maybe I should stay under the covers and let it last a little longer...and yet I get up. )  I shower.  Still harmony.  Kids are cleaning the kitchen (without being asked, oh yeah! ).  Some kids are working on school without being asked!  Hallelujah, the angels are singing.  We are communicating. Laundry is going. Lunch is in the crockpot.  I come out of bedroom after my shower and I smell yummy lunch cooking. 

This is an incredibly awesome day.

I sit down with The Man and we start school.  He is doing so well.  He is motivated.  He is reading with interest.

I pull out the flash cards.  Yes!  there is no crying, whining or begging to stop.  What an amazing day. 

The angels are singing. 

Oh yes.  Please come into my home and see all this.

The Man, doesn't have to sound out "THE" any more. 

Heaven is exploding with praises. 

We have been working on "THE" for weeks, months...can I say I was starting to raise my voice a little everytime I said THE....why couldn't the darling remember it?  But I hear the choir singing. 

Next sight word.... "SH*T"

The angels stop singing.

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!  SHE    SHE   SHE  SHE  SHE

Silence and then the older siblings start laughing and come running to see what the word was?
"WHERE did THAT come from SHE?" they ask.
Well The Man just likes to add "it" into any word he is sounding out when he chooses to be lazy.
We say, SHE SHE SHE SHE over and over.
I mix flash cards and it comes up again.  What does he say, but, SH*T again!
NO!
WE don't say THAT word, son.
TM:  What is SH*T?  in all innocence.
A Very BAD word for POOP.  DON'T SAY IT AGAIN YOUR MOUTH WILL BE WASHED OUT WITH SOAP!
Siblings STOP laughing.

Oh yeah, everyone who came into my home to hear the angels singing, they aren't anymore.  My 5 minutes in Happily Ever After has come crashing back into reality.  This is life, My Absolutely Crazy and Fantastically Humorous Life.   I secretly wonder how many first graders and kindergartners say colorful words in the classroom when reading out loud.

Cause you just can't have enough shoes....

Pretty much a daily occurrance:

Time to go, get your shoes on.

I must tell them to get their shoes on.

Some, have thought is was perfectly okay to leave home without shoes!?!?!

What they were going to do when we arrived, I have no idea.

Definitely a source of exasperation to a mother on the go.

 

Fun Man shows up..

Something tells me to look down.

 

 

No!

"But I can do it!"

No.

"I will put socks on Mom, it will work."

No.

"Mom I can't find my shoes."

No. You can't wear socks with your flippers.

"I will put socks on, it really will be ok."

No.

Dad tells him, to go find his shoes.

Now it is not like we don't keep some back up shoes on hand

for this boy.  He is forever losing shoes.

He has been known to leave the house in two, I am saying two different shoes.

For instance, a sandal and a tennis shoe!

His brother saves him and announces he has found his tennis shoes.

Relief

Fast forward several days.

Mad family cleaning session.

I find another "flipper" as I call them. 

Ask if it is The Man's?

"YES!!  Cause I had only 2 left feet.

Now, I don't"

Yep, you are correct, you don't have 2 left feet.

Woohoo!

This boy makes me smile.

 

**Same cleaning day**

In the storage room cleaning.

I find a lonely shoe.  No mate.

I have a box upstairs of lonely mismatched shoes waiting to find

the other one in the pair.

I holler for Dad's Bud to come here.

I hand him the shoe and instruct him to take it upstairs to the box,

if he doesn't know where the mate is.

If he knows where the mate is, collect the mate

and put the pair in the correct bedroom.

His response,

"It must be mating season for the shoes today"

 

Really, not making it up.

I couldn't come up with one that good if I tried.

The Man rescues Fun Girl!

On our way to church one Wednesday night this conversation occurred:
Hockey Player, Little Princess and Fun Girl do not take off once we get to church.  Help carry in the cupcakes.
Hockey Player: OK
Little Princess: OK
Silence.... "Um waiting for one more word of affirmation....."
Look at DaddyO.  He looks at me and raises his eyebrows. 
Me: Fun Girl???
FG:  What?
Me: Are you going to respond? 
FG:  Were you talking to me?
DaddyO: Yes
Me: You will help with cupcakes.
FG:  Um yeah... kind of distant and far away.
DaddyO: She is staring off in space day dreaming about the cute guys at church.
FG:  Nooooo!
DaddyO:  (dripping with sarcasm)  OH, like there is no cute boys at church!?!
FG:  Embarrassed and saying "But....
The Man interrupts:  There are too cute guys at church.  I am one of them!!!
Giggle and laughter all around.
Yep, TM, you are right.  There are lots of cute guys in the first grade.  You are soo very right!
Saved by her little brother.

Quoteables... just a few of my favorites this week

Favorite ramblings of the week...

Fun Girl tells us on the way home from church that Mr. G said,
"Are you just naturally happy or do you smile all the time cause you don't know is going on?" 
Good thing I wasn't driving, I might of hit the curb!

At the Y, while grading papers, I heard the older gentlemen at the table across from me:
"See her...
She is 86 years old.
She's moving along quite well. 
She's from Wales. 
Looking pretty good. "
All said very respectful. 

Ladies sit up and take notice.  Best to stay active in shape.  The men are going to notice!

Fun Girl's Unfair Life

Some humor from this weekend.

Fun Girl says "I hate The Man" 
I say, "No you don't"
Fun Girl says, "But he brought the ugly bug into the house"  (all said with the most pathetic whine a sixteen year old can muster.
Fun Girl: He is A W F U L !
Little Princess says, "But I was sick first"
FG: No you weren't, I was up at 2 in the morning.
LP: I had it the night before
FG: Well I probably had it the night before too, but thought I felt bad from swim team.
Little Princes is not helping cause she has her giggles and bubbly self back. 
Fun Girl needs to put her big girl britches back on.
Mommy went so far as to tell her to quit being a pansy. 
FG then orders Little Princess to get her pain reliever.
LP asks "How much? "
Fun Girl in all her pathetic-ness says in a soft whimper, "Daaaaddy says I am suppose to take 2 when I am sick."  "But I don't know if I am considered sick now.",

HAHAHA  She doesn't know if she qualifies as being sick.  Me thinks she is trying to milk this for all she is worth. :)
Love this girl.

Critical Thinking Boy Style

So Dad's Bud is reading aloud his Critical Thinking Riddles.

A powerful gun on,
The deck of a ship;
And I'm much too large,
To wear on you hip.
What am I? ......................................................

To which THE MAN responds, "RPG!"
My eyeballs popped out of my head.
Read that riddle again.
I have RPG running through my head and Fun Girl quickly starts describing a large black "gun" that "kabooms" while her hands are exploding out. 
I give in and say, "Cannon"
Dad's Bud then responds with, "That's old stuff.  We don't use things like that anymore."
Fine, write RPG down.
Dad's Bud ever so smart asks, "Do you even know what an RPG is mom?"
Sigh
"A big gun that you can't wear on your hip."
Dad's Bud, "A rocket launcher, something that destroys stuff."
Sigh.
I go back to what I was doing.
Dad's Bud, "Fine I will write cannon down."

Who knew the conversations I would have when home schooling.
Glad to know Cannons are old school and don't exist anymore.  What is really weirding me out is it was my sweet, loveable 6 year old who quickly responded with "RPG" in the beginning. 

Just in case you would like to check out where we find our critical thinking exercises.
This is the book we are working through right now.
 


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Lessons learned at the YMCA

Tonight's conversation with The Man at the Y after swim lessons.
THE MAN:  The machine won't take my TEN ($10). 
MOM:   Because the machine doesn't take $10 bills.  Only ones. 
THE MAN:  That's inconvenient.  I didn't know that.
Then the machine worked.  That's convenient. 
Where does my Man come up with these things?  How did he ever learn to properly use the word convenient?