Monday, September 5, 2011

Tears

It has been a teary week.   First it started with realizing this would be Hockey Player's final official year of Awana.  Should he finish his book this year, he will earn his Timothy Award.  That took me down memory lane.  Cause with our club, they always ask parents what they will remember  most.  I can't help but remember Fun Mom's Timothy Award. 
These two kiddos are intrinsically "tied" together when it comes to Awana.  Cubbies came into our life as an answer to desperate momma prayers.  I wanted something to help me teach my sweet toddler "Fun Mom" about Jesus.  Pregnant with Hockey Player, my then 3 year old Fun Mom started going to Cubbies.  Beginning my journey of learning how to sit, walk, and live my life while teaching these precious children about God.  I had no idea, that a month into her first year of Cubbies, I would be laying in a hospital room in organ failure with dangerously high blood pressure, scared doctors and being induced. I was actually admitted, shortly after taking her to Awana.  I thought I was just going to get checked and sent home.  I wasn't scared when they told me I needed to be induced.  All I could think on was the Bible verses I had been helping my little Cubbie to memorize.... "All have sinned.."  "While we were sinners, Christ died for us..."   "God loved us and sent his son..."   I was asked once by my dear sister how it was I had the presence of mind to quote scripture at a time like that.  I had no real answer for her.  Many years later and many more life experiences later, my answer would be different....practice.  When I spend my time focused on God's Word, it is only natural it comes to mind when times are desperate.  Not that I can honestly say, I have done it "right" all these years since.  I have had my times of distraction, to only realize how distracted I have become because when I am desperate again and there are cobwebs where there should not be.  A reminder for why we are encouraged by God's Word to not grow weary in doing what we know is right (Gal. 6:9).

So as I dwell on my second's growing up and the faithfulness of God in his life, my littlest is starting kindergarten at home.  He graduated Cubbies last year and is starting in Sparks.  So ever glad, I am not sending him off on a bus.  I think it would be even harder on this momma .  My littlest girl turned 10.  She will, hopefully, be trying to earn her Timothy Award next year.  Daddy's Buddy is graduating Sparks this year.  So many milestones, so many reflections. 

A blessed reunion with extended family this weekend. Only six of the "greats" (3 + spouses) are still around.  God showed me how very much I am loved by my extended family.  Something I have known, but I saw it with my heart this weekend.  Made me a bit weepier.  With a childhood torn apart by divorce and lies of this world I sometimes can get lost in bad memories and then God so gently reminds me of the good memories and blesses me with the many grandparently hugs I have been missing for so many years.  I have a place where I belong. 

Then a phone call from my dad. 
My heart tells me maybe I shouldn't put off for another year what can be done now.  It is time for some more memory making. 
Tears, a little heart wrenching at times, soothing at others, joyful still.  But never unnoticed by my Heavenly Father.  May I always rest in the palms of His hands.