Learning a New Language

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine myself learning this new language.
Testosteronese
I have been a little slow at picking it up. But I had a break through tonight with Daddy's Buddy. He actually understood me the first time I spoke.

I need you to sit down proper in your seat. We are going 64 miles per warp speed. If I get to light speed you might fly out the window.

He sat.

The tension in the suburban was thick. Would Mom make it it time? We were 3 minutes from the start of the new Clone Wars episode. I was doing all sorts of warp speed down the highway. Threatening to slow down out of warp speed if children did not remain safely seated and buckled into their seats.

Then there was "Hold on, I am making a warp speed turn."
To which Fun Mom corrected me, "Light speed turn."
I will rejoice in the one success today. :)

Dads, Sons and the Mom

First hockey game of the season.
I am working in the church nursery and show up before the second game.
On arrival, I am told Stephen was checked but ok. He sat out a few rotations because his ankle hurt. Dad roared and said I was not allowed to go to the locker room to check on him. I do try to respect the men and man~children in my life. Fine line between being mom and overly-mothering.
Next thing I hear is they are having a hard time getting his skate on, his ankle is swollen. But he'll try to skate during warm-up and see how it feels.
Momma bear is trying to stay quiet.
Hockey Player plays and the Mom can tell he is hurting. Not skating like he usually does.
Afterwards, I tell him I will see him at home. I also tell him, when he gets home he needs to soak his foot in epsom salts. (More so I don't have to smelly his funky foot, when I look at it.) Come home and take a look. A huge golf ball has somehow managed to work its way under my son's skin. Yowzer! Momma Bear insists on a trip to see the doc. But calls the doc on call for backup with the dad and son.
Left doc's office with a diagnosis of "severe sprain". Possible fractures but need the radiologist to look at. Get a call later, radiologist doesn't think there is a fracture.
This morning, Hockey Player is asking for pain medicine. It hurts to stand on it. He doesn't want to elevate it, because then it hurts to stand. Call to the doctor. He shouldn't be in that much pain with a brace on his foot.
Doc pulls up the xrays on his computer which is really a cool thing. He zooms in, spins the pics, zooms out, clicks a few times. Checks the spot on the xray where Hockey Player has the most pain. His knobby little ankle bone is fractured on the tip. Hard to catch fracture, but there all the same. Pretty purple/blue ankle this morning. I tried to get him to choose the purple cast. I even suggested the hot pink one. He chose royal blue.
Needless to say Dad and Hockey Player now know Mom will enter the locker room regardless of their wishes. The other players can run, hide, turn around it doesn't matter. I am not looking at them. Mom will take the skates and hide them. Hockey Player is too young to be playing injured.
Fun Mom thinks aloud, wish I could break my leg. She seems to like the attention Hockey Player is getting. She doesn't want the pain though. Mom can only shake her head. Enough drama for the rest of the year. Doctor is laughing because he only just saw Hockey Player for a physical last Thursday.
At least there's no locker rooms for 6 weeks. Whew... the boys can relax.
If I can bring myself to take pictures later, I will post them.