The Tests of Friendship

I have a dear friend.
She has a great sense of humor.
She has determination, grit, spunk, humor. She is kind. Her kids are friends with mine. That is an amazing feat in of itself, considering they nicknamed one of my children after the Terminator. We garage sale together.
We laugh together.
But she has learned one thing we don't do together anymore is run.
I love the idea of running. I love the fantasy that flashes through my mind's eyes once or twice a year. Running, alone, no kids, the pavement, the exertion...
However, I am not a teenager anymore. I haven't run consistently in a loooong time.
I have no desire to go through the pain I would have to go through to get there.
I will admit a couple of months ago, every night at 1130 I was having this deep desire to go run. One night, hubby was home and I just decided to go run. His jaw hit the floor. It was great. I did a whole mile never stopped. Felt great. Walked. Showered, went to bed. I could barely move the next day. The second day after was worse. My life doesn't stop while I recover from these crazy whims. My kids though proud of me, didn't like the sore grouchy mom they had around.

So this wonderful friend call me up and tells me she is in need of no children time. She needs adult time. OK. I am a mom, I get it, totally up for it! I even suggest Braums, ice cream is good. I knew her answer... NOOOO, she does no carbs, no sweets, no chocolate. I should be more like her.
"Lets go running." I laughed at her. OH, I laughed at her. Did I ever mention she is the cheerleader type. Super happy, cheerful, exuberant, encouraging, believes you can do it no matter how absolutely insane the idea is... YEP! That is my friend.
She knows I am not going to run, so she pulls out her wild card. You can ride a bike along with me while I run. Now, I won't mention how long it takes her to run a mile... just that slow and steady wins the race. She thinks I can keep pace with her on the bike. She just worries, I will fall over cause I am going so slow.
So thinking it will be a short trek through the neighborhood I agree.

So I borrow Fun Mom's bike, much to her dismay when she discovers later. I have yet to mention, when Fun Mom gets in one of her moods, I am a bit of a weenie and take the easiest way out. So this time, to make things a little bit more pleasant when she finds out, I haven't moved the gears or the seat. Well, Fun Mom is a bit SHORT in the leg department. Fun Mom is newly 14 and has the gears set to quite a challenging level.
This dear friend of mine, doesn't tell me until we are halfway, that oh, by the way, we are going to Dillons....
What ? ? ?
But by then, the ride is feeling good. My worst fear is crossing the highway.
All is good until 2 blocks from Dillons. My legs are getting a little tight.
"Know how far we are going?" I am asked.
I am guestimating 3 miles.
"Nope, I will tell you later." and she laughs, not a psychotic crazy laugh, but it might as well have been!

Now all would be good if we were riding through neighborhoods, but NOoOOOoooOOOO we are riding down one of the main streets in our neck of the woods. Not that there are hills in Kansas, but there are occassional inclines along the way. This cheerful, exuberant, fabulously ridiculous friend of mine is cracking jokes. We are making quite a site, me on my bike, she is riding along... and did I say the gears were set for QUITE a workout!

So we would inevitably get to one of those "inclines" when we were laughing so hard, how she could keep running, I had no idea, I looked like I had been sipping the Elderberry juice a bit too much. But I would get stuck, and start laughing all the more. Wouldn't you know, the cheerleader she is, would fall back behind me and start pushing, which would make me laugh all the more. All this is done on this super busy street, which got me to laughing all the more. Not a bit of pride is left in me at this point.

So we are halfway into the return stretch and the hurt is kicking in. I do not want to SIT on a bike anymore! But I don't want to look silly walking a bike home... NoooOOOOooo I don't want to look silly. Because I already look absolutely hysterical laughing and carrying on while trying to ride a bike that my running buddy is pushing from behind.

We finally return to my home. One hour and 24 minutes later. 7.25 miles later.
I could barely stand. I walk and walk and walk and walk. I had to walk more than I did after running. I had to sleep with ice packs all night.

I am laughing. I am crying. I only sit on nice cushy chairs. My knees feel like my sons whacked them with baseball bats.

I think I am done biking... To which the cheerleader says, but if you ride 13 more times, your body will have adjusted and it won't hurt so bad. This pain means you just need to do it more! Have I mentioned she is 7 years younger than me. My daughter turned 14 today. My husband told me I couldn't tell people I was 29 years old, because then he might have to go to jail. My kids have discovered that I am not mid-30s but late 30s now. Friends at church were shocked to hear I was even still in my 30's cause after all my daughter is starting high school next year. Aiy, it is good to have friends, even the young ones who help us to laugh at our aging selves.

My reputation precedes me, I think?

In the last week, I have heard from 3 moms who use me as a threat to their children. I have heard the mumblings of my being a MEAN MOM. So, I admit it. I am a MEAN MOM. My kids know if they get into trouble elsewhere they will be in trouble at home. They know I expect obedience. I expect manners. They know I will discipline. BUT, they also know I love them, will hug them, forgive them, play with them, tease them. I will, also, do the chicken dance out IN PUBLIC to get them to smile and/or embarrass them (depends on the child). It is my version of the mean mom dance. I am getting a little bit of a complex here...

Today takes the cake. I took a snooze in my chair to release the stress. Now I can embrace the lessons learned. Lessons for Fun Mom who will be 14 soon and therefore, the driving age isn't too far away. How to deal with a difficult person and stay safe when there is an automobile incident. For Daddy's Buddy that police aren't just for when you are in trouble but when your safety is at risk. For all the children, things aren't more important people. When people put things before people, especially when something is an accident, then people are hurt. We need to remember to think of people before things.
So what happened....
A trip to Michael's for a treat for the kids.
Parked.
Person in the car next to us. I tell the kids to wait for her to get out.
She doesn't, doesn't, doesn't get out of the car. She is on the phone.
Okay, Kids carefully get out of the car. Don't let the doors bang her car. Rainy and windy. Although he tried very hard, the wind got the best of Daddy's Buddy. The door hit the car. I was on the otherside of the truck. Have no idea what has happened. Collect the kids and start walking to the store. The woman starts yelling at me...
"Yes?...."
"Your boy....
"You ignoring me...
"You knew....
"You looked...
She was so convinced I was all about ruining her day. That I had been paying close attention to her. I tried multiple times to explain, I have 5 kids. When I looked her way, I was not looking at her, but my child. When I turned back towards the vehicle it was not because she said something, but that I was checking on my children.
At this point, I have sympathy for her, "I am soo sorry you are having a bad day."
"I'm not having a bad, I am having a perfect day........." and a lot more to be said.
The whole time I am thinking, whew, I am so glad you are not having a bad day, if this is what you are like on a good day. I sure hope you aren't licensed for conceal and carry.
"I am sorry, what would you like me to do to take care of this?"
Her: "There is nothing you can do!"
More of her accussations. I was obviously one of THOSE mothers. The kind who doesn't discipline, teach manners, respect. I don't supervise my kids and let them run all over. (Well I do let them run all over...within the boundaries I have set. )
I finally state, "I am sorry, but I don't think this is doing either of us any good. We are not going to be able to resolve this."
She agreed.
She tells me she is moving her car, so we don't do anymore damage.
I head to the store. She doesn't move her car. She starts taking pictures. She gets in her car and sits. She doesn't go anywhere. I call the police.
Daddy's Buddy runs and hides behind the carts... He is afraid the police are because he hit the door. He is scared and upset.
My heart breaks.
I tell him, the police are coming because the other adult is very angry and the situation can't be resolved. The police are coming to make sure we are safe. Accidents happen and people aren't always nice when there is an accident.
They show up, one is a friend from hockey and he makes Daddy's Buddy feel better.
They talk to her.
She doesn't know what she wants to do.
She is scared to go into the store, because I am in there with my children. All of this because of a car door ding? ! ?
All I can do is think, has my reputation as a MEAN MOM preceded me. Am I now, also, known as the MEAN SHOPPER?

Watch out people, I might be going to Wal-Mart tonight. Stay home where it is safe.