I don't play possum !!

I catch frogs.  I catch toads.  I catch snakes.  I will even hold a boa constrictor.  I dissect creatures for science classes.  I put worms on fish hooks.  I take fish off of fish hooks.  I don't do possum. 
I "caught" a possum eating Gus' dog food last night. 
Scared it off.  Except it went under the house.  **sigh**
Now we know why Gus keeps having the HUGE barking fits.  Why he runs like a crazed animal we don't recognize.  He runs in circles from one of the yard to the other, back and forth, back and forth for what seems like forever.  Barking and freaking out. 
So I started making calls this morning.  Animal control won't do anything.  Told us to talk to Animal Services.  They don't do anything.  They told us to call  the Department of Wildlife.  They don't do anything. 
Somewhere along the line someone thought it was helpful to tell me we probably had a nest under my house. 
A NEST ! * ** * * *  A NEST !  * * * **
And noone can be of help.  They offer suggestions on how to trap them.  Tell you how to release them. 
And then they all feel the need to tell me the good news...they don't carry rabies.
And then they tell me, they have ugly smiles and yucky mouths.  Their mouths are incredibly dirty and full of bacteria.  BUT they don't bite unless provoked.  They are possums.  Don't bite unless provoked.  I kinda forget some of the other things they said it was rare for possums to do... Cause all I can think is I have 3 boys.  Setting a trap to catch a possum would be cool.  As for bites and how rare that is, I am having flash backs to a collison with a bowl of ice cream and the need for stitches....and the many other strange and rare events my family has had the joy of experiencing.  Somewhere along the line, something was said about kids and traps and not a good idea and I start hyperventilating..
Big O Daddy O looks at me.  I am hyperventilating.  Pretty much freaking out.  My kids jaws are on the floor.  I don't do possum.  Giant, filthy, bacteria infested, foaming from the mouth, overgrown, wiry, hairy, ugly RATS!  I break down sobbing, big sobbing.  Big O Daddy O just looks at me.  I sobbed, I don't know why I can't do this, I just can't.  I do all the other things, just not possum.  PLEASE, GET THEM OUT OF HERE! ! ! !  It doesn't help not knowing if there is a "nest".  I am certainly not getting down on the ground to look under my house.  This is not the kind of zoo I live in/with.  This could take days, weeks....  Can I go somewhere else, please????