Grief and Mourning

There definitely is no cookie cutter design for grief and mourning. We've been asked quite a bit lately how we are doing.

I definitely feel we have had God's hand on us and moving us through this process and gently and lovingly as possible. Those closest to us know the challenges we have faced this last year and are facing in the near future and His blessings just continue to pour forth on us. His timing has shone on all that has transpired and I keep trying to rest in His palm.

We definitely miss Mom, Gayla, Grandma. Moments will come and pass when we grieve more than others. God comforted me with a passage from 2 Samuel 12:18-23 this week. Sometimes I think I don't grieve like I should. This time, I have struggled with why I am not more emotionally grieving as maybe I should.

This passage was a tremendous comfort to me, cause I think it sums up where we are at right now as a family. Next week may be different.

2 Samuel 11-12
David had sinned.
He had an affair with Bathsheba and had her husband Urriah killed in battle.
Nathan rebuked David. David repented and asked forgiveness. However, there are always consequences for our actions. In this case, David's son was stricken with illness by God.

Now up to this point, this story doesn't have anything to do our loss of Gayla.
However, David's response was amazing. While his son was sick he fasted, prayed and grieved. Why?
(David) answers, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.' But now that he is dead, why should I fast? (This is what struck me the most)Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."

So for now, I will rest in this passage. We will go to her one day. Where she is at is better and I look forward to the day we are all in His holy presence. We will miss her, the house will be emptier and quieter without her. It is just for an ever so short amount of time...