An update...

It is late...
My mind is a whirling.
Fun Girl, "don't want to be a pest...but you haven't updated your blog in a while."
Me, "I don't know what to write.  Life is tough right now.  I cry a lot"
I just viewed my last post posted.
It was the afternoon before the car accident.
Life was great that day.  Blogging and computer stuff done.  Kiddo at a Christmas party, looking to what all needed to be done for the holidays.  On our way to work Bingo to pay for Hockey Player's hockey and life came to a halting stop at the red light. 

We were stopped.  The kid admitted to being distracted.  He stopped only after crashing into us.  Things could have been so much worse.  That they weren't I am grateful.  I was stunned, dazed and, well, just going with the flow.  I didn't feel right but stayed quiet.  We went on to Bingo.  My leg went numb, got heavy and eventually I sat down and helped with paper work.  The next morning, I was dizzy and weak... Eventually I was in the ER.  A concussion. 

A week later in the ER again.  Post-concussive syndrome. 

It is not good to sit in the car sideways.  I was sitting at an angle so I could face Hubby while he drove and we talked.  Instead of a front to back concussion, I was hit from the side.  Bummer.  Brain doesn't like that too much.  I slept a lot for the 2 weeks after the accident.  There is a lot I don't remember from about Thanksgiving till now.  Pictures help.  Talking helps.  Sometimes looking at the calendar.  But for the most part, the memories are mostly gone.  But I know my kiddos have been gems.  They have loved on me and taken care of me. 

A week after the accident, the call came.  Granny was gone.  There was to be no services or viewing.  She was gone.  I slept a lot.  The kids and I still have yet to fully process she is gone.  It is just a big silence in our life.  None of us really know how to talk about it. 

In the meantime, my mom is declining in leaps.  Agitated and confused.  She doesn't always recognize us, or she does and doesn't know why we are familiar. The year ends and a new one begins.  We find ourselves saying good-bye and grieving.  Mom will be moving soon.  She wanders now and doesn't know us a good amount of the time.  They will move to Colorado, there are more siblings/kids there to help out and support.  More than just me.  Colorado is home to my parents.  Where they want to be.  I know with this move, we are saying good-bye.  Visits will be farther and fewer.  Her memories of us will slip faster with our absence.

And I sleep a lot.  I have aggravated my concussion a couple of times.  I can't be silly and shake my head at the kids.  It hurts.  Accupuncture helps a lot with the pain.  But it is not long lasting.  More follow up with the doctors to happen.  Hoping for the doctor okay to travel to Colorado with my mom.  There is a concern about the change in altitude and pressure on my brain.  I have an extra motivation in going...I want to see my preggy niece.  My first grand-neice on my side of the family.  I love being an auntie and look forward to changing my title to GREAT Aunt!  She is due soon.  I can't remember the due date.  If it wouldn't be too soon, it would be cool if she popped out to see me while in Colorado.  Wouldn't that be lovely....snuggles with a super sweet wee new born.  Ahhh!
I keep telling Hubby I need a baby girl of my own.  The kids think my concussion is even worse than the doctors have said.

School planning needs to be done.  Hoping between naps and appointments this week, I will accomplish this one GREAT BIG task.