Dara

Dara wrote this amazing post that summed up our visit.  She humbles me with her excitement about a friend who will pack up on a moments notice to visit.  You see, it blows my mind how blessed I am with a husband who will send me off on whatever adventure that awaits me with his blessing.  It blows my mind how my Heavenly Father has blessed me with this amazing friend Dara. She exudes joy.  She bubbles all over everything and everyone she meets.  She is like a washing machine filled with way too much detergent and she bubbles.  Except you don't want to clean up these bubbles.
In this friendship we all have a buddy or two.  Hockey Player matches up with her oldest.  Dad's Bud and The Man match up with her second.  All 5 boys will play together really well.  Little Princess and Brylee are best buddies and have a blast.  The Man is engaged to Brylee on the condition he buys her a purple house but they are a year apart in age and have fun playing together.  Fun Girl is loved as the best babysitter ever and influences Brylee's fashion choices and mostly hangs out with Dara and me these days.  It is a great family friendship.  Husbands aren't mentioned cause our husbands work a lot of evening hours.  Most husbands are home with their families in the evening.  Not us.  Perfect set up when we are looking for something to do in the evening...when we lived closer.
So back to all of those bubbles flowing over.
I have tears running down my face as I type this.  You see, she accepts me and my kids as we are.  Warts and all.  To me, that is just so humbling and brings me to my knees.  My life is nutty.  My life is messy.  I can't imagine anyone wanting to get involved and be around it.
You see I have a kiddo with bi-polar.  Every day is unpredictable.  Every moment is unpredictable.  Life is like walking on egg shells.  Life centers around how this child will adjust and will go with the flow.  Lots of counseling, some medication and things are much better than they were.  We have a hope for this child's future.  A hope I lean on sometimes hourly, cause I have a brother I only hear from in the oddest of situations.  Diagnosed too late.  He is a statistic.  He is my brother. I love him.  I miss the boy I once knew.  I grieve the unfilled potential.  I have amazing childhood memories.  I have other kinds of memories.  Memories that make me an advocate to try and make things different for my child.  I want a hope and future for this child, just as I know God has a hope, a future and plan for each one of his.  Still each day has its challenges.  Some are normal developmental challenges, others are unique to the situation.  But the elephant is always in the room. People try to understand, but it is hard to understand.  I have hesitated to travel alone for a long time.
I did it.
It was good.
We struggled. We persevered.  We were loved through it and it was okay.
Dara even saw what I try to hide from the outside world.  I don't want my child labeled.  I don't want my child rejected because of these struggles.  I don't want to be mis-understood.  If only all could be summed up by my bad parenting, I would gladly take that label and free my child from this challenge. But that is not the case.  Even though Dara saw my child disappear when bi-polar took over, she saw my child return through the windows of a person's soul...his/her eyes.  She got it.  She understood what we go through.  She asked some questions.  She asked about the future.  But most of all, her love didn't change. She still sees the heart.  She sees the child without the label.  She sees the blessing.  She shared her love and bubbles and joy.  She didn't miss a beat.
My heart is full.  I am humbled.  I am blessed to have a friend who accepts me and loves me and my children warts and all.  I humbled by seeing the joy on her children's faces when they saw me.  You see we stopped in at school the first afternoon. Just the two of us moms.  We popped in to see Brett and Jacob.  I felt so loved by their smiles.   I blessed to have a friend who would write such an awesome post about my family!