Hockey Player and laundry....

Hockey Player is ten.
But it wasn't really all that long ago when Hockey Player couldn't stand to be dirty.
He is a boy at heart in all honesty.
But up until he was 5 or so when I finally got firm with him about dirt and life and told him, "Life is dirty sometimes deal with it!" he drove me nuts. He was the only kid in soccer who managed to come off the soccer field clean. He didn't like soccer because of the mud. While the other boys were barrel rolling and sliding in the mud, he prefered to sit on the bench or tiptoe through the mud. As a toddler he would stick his hands in the mud and cry. I would wash his hands only for him to repeat the process much to my annoyance. He started off being a tidy eater. He eventually discovered he was able to throw food, but once he was done he wanted his hands cleaned up. Never could understand how he could find utter joy and be totally devastated at the same time. He delighted in experiences which required messes but could not stand being dirty and would holler and fuss when he realized he was dirty/messy. Just about drove me nuts.
Now Hockey Player has an aversion to anything clean in his hockey bag.
He wants to stink. He wants to have the stinkiest, smelliest, most disgusting hockey bag. They even offer an award for it every year. His goal this year is to earn that award. I am thinking of bribing his teammates. Anything, to get past the desire for this new achievement. Maybe if he wins this year, he will be more inclined to let me clean his gear on a regular basis. I am not talking floral, pretty scents. Just good old-fashion soap and hot water!
Today, he asks Big-O-Daddy-O to take him to Sports Authority.
Why?
He has a gift card for there.
He has a coupon that expires this weekend.
He wants a new Under Armor shirt to wear under his hockey gear.
Why does he want a new shirt?
His is yellow....
It is suppose to be white.
It is yellow becuase it needs to be washed.
It is yellow because I won't open the hockey bag for all the stench that is contained in it and he won't turn over his gear to be cleaned.
When I explain the yellow color and the need for washing and that just maybe the shirt could be white again, all Hockey Player could say is, "Oh."
He still wants to go to Sports Authority.
I told Big-O-Daddy-O he had best get a black shirt.
I have resigned myself to be grateful that he gets in the shower when ordered to.
I find myself, also, grateful there is no award for the smelliest kid of the season.